Early Motherhood and Diet Culture: Are They That Different? with Natalie Siegel
An honest and vulnerable conversation about the load of motherhood, postpartum body image, sleeping troubles and lots more...
Natalie Siegel aka @kneadtotalk has been a favorite follow of mine for years now for her eating disorder wisdom, refreshing therapeutic perspective on family dynamics and now honest insight into early motherhood, since becoming a mother this past year. Natalie professionally works as a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in Colorado where her specialities include body image, disordered eating, anxiety and family issues.
I feel so honored and excited to share Natalie’s thoughts about early motherhood here, a topic that can be feel so isolating when you’re in it. I selfishly wish Natalie and I were early mothers at the same time, as I know her words would have felt so validating. Even now, 2 years out since becoming a mother myself, Natalie’s thoughts on this topic ring true still. Now, over to my interview with Natalie!
How has your experience in early motherhood looked different than what you expected? What has been the hardest part?
“Motherhood has been so different from what I expected in so many ways. I think the biggest surprise so far was how little the postpartum experience is talked about. I think I had an understanding that I’d need time to recover, but there is SO much that comes with that. It was like “buy the nipple cream” but not, “your nipples might feel horribly painful for you, and it’s really hard.” I feel like so much of motherhood and honestly womanhood in general is downplayed. We experience SO much with our bodies and it’s almost just a given that we’ll just do it and be fine.”
“I think the hardest part has been the sleep troubles. I think I was prepared to have trouble with newborn sleep, but I wasn’t prepared for it to last so much longer than that. We’re almost 5 months in and sleep is still really brutal. I definitely felt the least prepared for how hard daytime sleep was going to be, and how hard naps are!”
In my experience our feeding journey was really bumpy and guilt-ridden, did you experience this?
“Feeding is so hard. I hear you about the bumpiness and it was certainly not easy to get going – breastfeeding came with some of the worst pain and discomfort I have ever felt. I have been breastfeeding and pumping so my husband can help with feeds (so I can sleep) and it feels like a full-time job. I am grateful that I have a good supply and that my son latched well from the beginning, but man is it hard. It’s so much pressure. In terms of guilt, I felt a lot of that in the first several weeks when my baby was so uncomfortable with gas pain. It made me feel like a horrible mother - so helpless in that he was so hungry but also so incredibly uncomfortable at every feed - it was so hard and something I did not anticipate.”
You’ve spoken on Instagram about how diet culture and the baby industry feel incredibly similar. Can you share more about this?
“Yes! I feel they both prey on a very vulnerable population - people with body insecurities and new parents who are extremely exhausted, overwhelmed, and running out of options. Both industries promise great things - a sleeping baby in 2 nights! Rapid weight loss! And it’s really hard to not get sucked into this type of marketing. I knew they were similar when I was doubting myself and my intuition based on what I was seeing on Instagram (much like diet culture does). There was so much content being served to me about “bad habits” with babies, that to me, felt so very natural (feeding to sleep, attending to needs, rocking baby, etc). I started to wonder if I was just doing everything wrong and I needed to buy these programs in order to do better. And then one weekend after talking all of this out with my husband, we landed right back to our intuition, listening to our baby, and accepting that we don’t have the control these programs/marketing scams say we do. I still hear the noise and at 3am I can feel tempted for a moment to buy in, but I remember ultimately that I can trust myself, my baby, and I don’t need a random person telling me what’s right or wrong for my family – just like I don’t need a diet or program to tell me what to eat and how to live.”
How has your experience in your body been postpartum?
“Better than anticipated, and I’m proud of that! My body has changed a lot since getting pregnant and giving birth, and most of the time, I am really neutral about it and accepting. I have my moments – especially because I can’t wear any of the clothes in my closet these days (and maybe never again), so I miss having my style and wardrobe. It’s a lot of leggings and comfy clothes these days which is nice but sometimes I do miss the style component! I am really really proud of this body and the mental space I’ve developed to be able to accept this new body and treat it kindly. It took a lot of work to get here and I am super glad I did the work beforehand. I could not imagine dieting, scrutinizing myself, or trying to “bounce back” to my previous body. Being a new mom is hard enough without that pressure!”
You speak about how your viewpoint on family dysfunction (parent specifically) shifted since becoming a parent. I'd love to hear more about this.
“I’ve always deeply believed that children are children through and through - whether they’re young or full grown adults - and should be treated as their children. Meaning I believe children don’t owe their parents anything, they are not responsible for their parents’ emotions or difficulties, and deserve to be loved and accepted. I cannot imagine putting this burden on my son or not treating him with the love, respect, and acceptance he deserves - and so my thoughts and feelings about parenthood are even clearer since becoming a parent myself. Our generation of parents is changing so much of the norm and I’m really encouraged to see it. Our children deserve it.”
Thank you so much, Natalie for sharing your raw, honest and vulnerable thoughts!! We need your voice. You’re a rockstar mama and we love you. xx